I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
