ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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