Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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