i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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