Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
