BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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