you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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