could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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