You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
