Say something about gay babies.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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