I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
