You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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