Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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