I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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