I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is my gift to your gina
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
