I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
