wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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