Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
