the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
