Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
vagina is talking i cant
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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