Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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