I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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