he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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