how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
