Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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