talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I could fuck to npr.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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