I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
