Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
