sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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