On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize