i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
