So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
