matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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