"it" just moved
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
