considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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