I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
