Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
