Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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