i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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