Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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