Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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