your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I look better un-naked...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
