Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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