Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
PANTIES FOUND
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
