i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
