What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
