I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize