It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
