3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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