the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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