O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
