tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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