i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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