please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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