we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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