my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did i walk over a car last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
