yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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